TheAvod

149 - You Should See the Devil

2012-02-08T09:24:00.002-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM take in three foreign films, each of which was lauded and/or recommended. One turns out to be terrible, one turns out to be less terrible than originally thought, and one is outstanding. Come to hear the Count and DM run down a list of fake card- and board games, and stay to find out how Alcatraz is still terrible.

Poll results: Which would you most like to see?
Steven Segal vs Jason 11%
JCVD vs Predator 11%
Jason Statham vs Freddy 67%
Jet Li vs Leprechaun 11%

148 - Films Lessened by the Inclusion of Chuck Norris

2012-02-01T12:02:00.000-05:00

This week your hosts Count Vardulon and DM are joined by the charming Puck of Movie Scum. Together they tackle hard-hitting issues like Matthew Broderick's Super Bowl commercial, and a new movie by Amy Heckerling. They also talk about Chuck Norris a lot because he made three horror-y movies. Only slightly less fun than a roundhouse kick to the face is the prolonged discussion about how bad the show Alcatraz is.

Poll results: Is there really any point in moving the story forward in a horror franchise?
Yes, I loved each new twist in Saw. 16%
Not if they go backward in time. 34%
I'm just here to watch them die. 50%

147 - That's What the Internet is For

2012-01-25T10:51:00.000-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM take in three sequels of varying quality. One is better than it's immediate predecessor, one is worse, and one was actually enjoyable. Tune in to find out who has back pain, and stay to learn who doesn't care.

Poll results: Should Count Vardulon watch Alcatraz?
Yes, and talk about it. 84%
Yes, and not talk about it. 0%
No. 16%

146 - Sherlock'd

2012-01-18T09:29:00.000-05:00

It's the first "real" Avod of the new year! This week, Count Vardulon and DM focus on recent TV, taking pot shots at American Horror Story, and lauding Sherlock. It's not their usual format, but it's still awesome.

Poll results: Was 2011 a good year for horror?

Yes 30%

No 10%

Better than 2010 50%

Somehow worse than though possible 10%

Special Feature 11 - Transformers 3

2012-01-11T04:04:00.000-05:00

It's DM's birthday! Feeling uncharacteristically generous of spirit, she's allowed Count Vardulon to post a ranting dialogue with Mer-Man about Transformers 3.

Special Feature 10 - Bikini Girls on Ice

2012-01-05T00:41:00.002-05:00

Count Vardulon and DM's first Avod of 2012 is a special commentary track for the Canadian indie slasher Bikini Girls on Ice. Which they've never seen before now. And their copy has no sound.

145 - A Tip for the Budding Arsonist

2011-12-28T00:37:00.000-05:00

Anonymous in her new ski/flight suit.

This week Count Vardulon and DM watch three movies that all suffer from a lack of making sense. By sheer coincidence two of them were made by The Asylum, which suggests DM and the Count should probably start paying closer attention to the movies they select. Tune in to find out who didn't watch American Horror Story again this week, and stay to hear some viewer mail.

Poll results: Is the notion of a "holiday" tree really as offensive as DM claims?
Lighten up 20%
Yeah, it's stupid 80%

144 - Stop Saying Santa!

2011-12-21T11:42:00.000-05:00

It's TheAvod Christmas Special! This holiday season, Count Vardulon and DM watch three very different killer Santa movies, not a single one of which is Silent Night Deadly Night. Tune in to find out who didn't watch American Horror Story, and who hasn't yet seen the trailer for The Expendables 2. Be sure to click here to see that thing.

Poll results: Are prequels just a big waste of everyone's time?
All the time yes 10%
Nah 10%
Prequels are a conspiracy dreamed up by the liberal media 70%
I kinda like Scorpion King 10%

143 - Predators Hate the Cold, Moron

2011-12-14T00:34:00.001-05:00

This week Count Vardulon and DM tear a strip off two out the three movies they watched. And the third film was only just so-so. The Count takes the opportunity to rip into a book he just read, while DM expresses her excitement about a new video game. In keeping with the theme of disappointment, American Horror Story continues to be stupid.

Poll results: Do movie trailers routinely reveal too much plot?
Too much plot 71%
I don't watch movie trailers 29%

142 - Increasing your film literacy in one easy step

2011-12-06T21:53:00.001-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM take on three more random movies, one of which is so good it makes them sad. In a strange twist, they give fair warning about a spoiler-heavy discussion of The Woman even though they don't think it's any good and don't care if people see it or not. They do care if people see Death Bell and Attack the Block, and recommend both. Listen out for more complaining about American Horror Story, and click here for free journal articles.

Poll results: Is making a horror movie really that hard? Really??
Yes 28%
No 72%

141 - Oh man. Making a horror movie is harder than we thought.

2011-12-01T18:47:00.001-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM forget to talk about American Horror Story. But you'll hardly notice because The Count finds something else to get upset about, namely, the sexual politics in Tormented. Shadow proves to be better than expected, despite its rather extreme escalation, and The Last Resort is worse than it needs to be. Tune in to find out what's wrong with the trailer for The Darkest Hour and stay to hear a vague conversation about Supernatural.

Poll Results:
Do you honestly, secretly enjoy Uwe Boll?
....yes 42%
....nnnooo 42%
Absolutely not 16%

140 - You Think You're Too Good to Rip Off Halloween?

2011-11-23T11:07:00.001-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM watch three random movies and it goes just about as well as you would expect: a boring serial killer, an ill-fitting costume, and a slasher film that should have ripped of Halloween but didn't. Tune in to see DM nitpick YouTube comments, and find out what's playing on TV in the UK. If you happened to have missed out on the Zach Ward/Brendon Fletcher conversation, it's repeated here.

Poll results: Is direct-to-video the genre wasteland it used to be?
It's where careers go to die. 35%
It's where careers are resurrected. 0%
Some of the best movies I've seen were DTV. 0%
All of the above. 65%

139 - 50 Cent's Career May Be Stalled

2011-11-16T13:43:00.001-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM take in three direct-to-video movies of varying quality. As it turns out, one of the movies they chose isn't technically a movie, but a TV series so bad it was repackaged and sold as a film. Unsurprisingly, Count Vardulon kind of enjoyed it. Tune in hear about how Frank Miller is a racist jerk, learn how many films DM hasn't seen, and listen to so viewer mail.

Poll results: Found footage or mocumentary?
Mocumentary 50%
Either 50%

138 - Hardcore Idol Worship

2011-11-09T12:22:00.000-05:00

This week DM was foiled in her attempt to watch Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Night so the found footage/mocumentary theme show she and Count Vardulon had planned for this week turned into a show about haunted asylums. Tune in to find out why The Mentalist is darker and edgier than you think, and why no one should watch Episode 50. Episode 2 of American Horror Story, on the other hand, was better than expected.

Poll results: How are you liking American Horror Story?
Yes 28%
No 14%
I don't know 14%
I have no idea what that is 42%

137 - Pay No Attention to the Man with the Drill

2011-11-02T19:57:00.001-04:00

DM totally carved this herself.

It's a post-Halloween show that has very little to do with Halloween, but a lot to do with early 80s horror. It's a trio of films about cattle mutilations, pits, and gorked-out freaks (whatever the hell that is). Find out when the Simpsons tanked, and how much The Count enjoys Spooks. DM's not sure how she feels about American Horror Story, but she'll keep watching it.

Poll results: How do you celebrate Halloween?
72% Watch more horror movies in general.
28% Every day is Halloween in my house.

136 - A House Inhabited by Whores

2011-10-26T12:22:00.000-04:00

This week, Count Vardulon and DM make a point of not watching or doing anything Halloween themed, although they recommend you watch Ghostwatch because it is Halloween themed. And awesome. Also awesome, in their own special ways, are Batman Year One, Bordello of Blood, and The Edison Death Machine.

Poll results: Should a movie's title reflect its content? The overwhelming majority of you believe that it should.

135 - Close the Deal

2011-10-19T14:02:00.001-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM one good movie, one great movie, and one movie so bad it should never be seen by anyone. In an historic moment, The Count changes his mind on-air about the film Isolation, and DM tells a story about how she might or might not appear the background in a television special about haunted bars. Tune in to find out how much The Walking Dead still continues to suck!

Poll results*: What plot element would you like to see cut from fight movies?
Winner: Geopolitics 57%
First runner-up: Family drama 28%
Cheating subplot: 14%
*At the time of recording, family drama and cheating subplot were tied for second place.

134 - It Is What It Is

2011-10-13T16:02:00.000-04:00

It's arena fight week on TheAvod! So excited were Count Vardulon and DM for Real Steel they watched Arena and Robot Jox as undercards. Despite issues relating to story for each of the three contenders, all films this week proved their worth in the square ring. Tune in to hear DM take a cheap shot at The Count, and The Count himself doesn't pull any punches when attacking Mark Millar.

Poll results: Look forward to more videos from TheAvod, this time with star wipes!

133 - The Do-Over

2011-10-05T10:11:00.000-04:00

This week Count Vardulon and DM watch two movies they liked and one they really, really didn't. The Count nitpicks Undocumented, DM has some top tips to offer low-budget indie filmmakers, and both have nothing but good things to say about Drive (except for that one bad thing they say). Tune in to hear about how movie trailers are ruing movies, and find out why The Count wasn't on Jeopardy.

Poll results: How annoyed are you with Netflix?

Tie: Pretty annoyed, Not that fussed

Winner: Something happened with Netflix?

Special Feature 9 - Nosferatu

2011-09-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

Can you believe DM has never seen Nosferatu before now? And she went to film school!

132 - Then he was stabbed by Billy Zane

2011-09-21T16:30:00.000-04:00

This week TheAvod takes a look at one bad movie, one awful movie, and a Billy Zane movie. Count Vardulon and DM offer some tips to first-time filmmakers, and heavily criticize some established creative types. The Count wants everyone to lay off being mean to Netflix, and DM suggests you run for your life. And here's a big shout-out to Movie Scum!

Poll results: How do you learn about new releases? While many of you rely on the Internet to keep you informed, most of you prefer to use a Ouija board.

131 - Don't Go In The Woods

2011-09-14T08:31:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM watch some movies that didn't really make it into theatres.
Why? They don't know. But Red State turns out to be a bit of a let-down, and, in true Canadian form, Good Neighbours is just kinda dull. Tucker and Dale vs Evil, on the other hand, is fantastic and everyone should see it.

130 - Shenanigans

2011-09-07T09:51:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM watch three movies that take place in the woods. Sort of. Turns out one of them largely takes place inside a cabin. In not-so-recent news, the Canyanero is available for purchase, and Apple does a really bad job advertising Ipad. DM still cares very little for Kick-Ass, and The Count poses the question, Has Clancy Brown ever survived a movie?

Poll results: The extent to which Lance Henriksen is awesome is unquantifiable.

129 - Lance is Awesome

2011-09-01T11:09:00.001-04:00

This week's episode is a recap of Count Vardulon and DM's trip to Fan Expo Canada. Chock full of anecdotes and interviews, it's a show not to be missed! Tim Sullivan, Post Mortem Press, Black Fawn Films, Monica Kuebler, and Lance Henriksen, share with us what they're getting up to these days. DM and the Count do their best to de-villify Tom Savini, and someone who shall remain nameless (Count Vardulon) goes on a too-long rant about something completely unrelated to either fans or expos.

Poll results: If anyone ever says they never watched a movie based solely on who's in it, they're lying.

128 - Topless Sensibilities

2011-08-24T11:18:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and DM take a look at three "priestly" movies. In a surprising turn of events, all three films turn out to be very watchable, and your hosts go out of their way to not completely ruin the movies for those who haven't seen them. In other, less surprising news, the Conan "remake" proves to be a big waste of 3D money.

Poll Results: Do you prefer animated video game movies or live action ones? It's a tie! Half of you like live action video game movies, half of you thought Mortal Kombat was awesome.

127 - Beyond the Game

2011-08-17T14:23:00.000-04:00

...and we don't mean the terrible movie with Michael Douglass. No, we're talking video game movies. Specifically, anime video game movies. Even more to the point, we mean Dante's Inferno, Dead Space: Aftermath, and Resident Evil: Degeneration. Which one is based on Dante and which one features the worst CG animation ever? The answer might surprise you. In other news, DM is woefully out of touch with genre releases and TV shows, and the Count loves Tony Todd. Click here to watch cat-themed murder!

Poll Results: Would you like to hear more haiku movie reviews? It's a good thing most of you do, because the Count is still writing them.

126 - Lies About Jeremy Sisto

2011-08-10T11:44:00.000-04:00

This week DM's hair looks great and Count Vardulon presents a movie review haiku. For reasons that will become clear, the duo tackle three Dean R. Koontz books-cum-movies. How good is Thomas Hayden Chruch? How crazy is Grace Zabriski? And how young is Jeremy Sisto? The answers lie within.

Poll Results: Half of you are looking forward to the end-of-summer movies, half of you don't really care.

125 - Brought to you by Don

2011-08-02T09:14:00.000-04:00

This week's show is brought to you by Don Guarisco, but he doesn't know it. Count Vardulon and DM dig into some 80s gems and complain about terrible movie trailers--are they more terrible or just as terrible as the films they advertise? Other issues addressed this week include James Spader's ability to menace teen-aged girls, how bullying leads to Satanism, and the greatest falling-off-a-balcony-onto-a-car stunt ever.

Poll Results: Are Stephen King movies getting better or worse? Tie for worse and neither better nor worse. Winner is IT completely traumatized me as a child.

124 - Three Years Later

2011-07-27T07:59:00.000-04:00

This week the Divemistress tries to transition into being called D and it doesn't go over so well. It might have something to do with the fact she spent all afternoon at a vinyard. Count Vardulon takes a look at his stats and doesn't like what he finds. And they watch some films! One was okay, one very far from okay, and one was freaking amazing. Special thanks to Anonymous and Pinko Mittens for providing the laugh track to this week's show.

Poll Results: Can a sequel be so bad that it goes back in time and ruins the original?
When this episode was recorded, blogger was not displaying the correct poll results. The real answers are:
No way: 14%
Yes way: 42%
No, but a shit franchise can go back in time and destroy the first brilliant film: 42%

123 - Almost Sequels

2011-07-21T12:06:00.000-04:00

This week Count Vardulon and D watch sequels to movies they've never seen. They've seen a lot of movies between them so they end up watching a movie that was never released and a sequel to a film that doesn't exist. And Quarantine 2.

Poll Results:
Is it possible for a good director to elevate a bad script?
Yes: 70%
No: 30%

122 - Hodder Fodder

2011-07-13T11:08:00.000-04:00

This week on TheAvod, your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress finally sit down to John Carpenter's The Ward. They also watch Kane Hodder kill a bunch of people and a ripoff of Resident Evil. Be sure to listen out for The Count's tirade against Transformers 3, and watch as D slowly figures out why Lucas Black so familiar to her.

Special Feature 8 - Tango and Cash

2011-06-28T10:58:00.001-04:00

Join Count Vardulon and the Divemistress as they offer their candid opinions on this ultimate 80s action movie.

121 - Now Is Not The Time For This

2011-06-22T17:24:00.000-04:00

This week, your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress fulfill viewer Sarah's birthday wishes by reviewing High Lane and Night of the Creeps. Anonymous acts as producer this week, and does a great job not doing or saying anything. Weirdly, both the Count and D independently watched movies with the word "green" in the title. Were they any good? Tune in to find out!

Poll Results: Is there a distinction to be made between "horror" movies and "scary" movies? For the purposes of list-making, yes.

120 - I Don't Envy Aaron Ashmore

2011-06-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take in three very different films and manage to not hate them all. The Shrine is appreciatively simple and straightforward, Stake Land is wonderfully understated and thankfully not about zombies, and Super 8 has nostalgia going for it so it's okay! Tune in to hear a run down of EW's top 20 scariest movies of all time, and listen as the Count again tries and fails to provide a simple synopsis.

Poll Results:
How should D treat her cold? With lots of hot toddies!

119 - You Made Your Movie Wrong

2011-06-10T18:07:00.000-04:00

This week The Divemistress is very ill. But Count Vardulon isn't going to let that get in the way of complaining about terrible movies! The Vanquisher proves to be impossible to understand, and not because it's largely in Thai, and The Traveler is similarly difficult to wrap your head around, but only because it's so stupid. Sherlock Holmes: The Last Vampyre, on the other hand, is totally worth watching.

Poll Results:
Q. Who's haunted the haunted house?
A1. A physical manifestation of your dread.
A2. Ghosts
A3. The Owner

118 - Dare You Enter?

2011-06-02T15:13:00.000-04:00

For your amusement, this week's episode is about haunted fun houses. Find out which movie features a self-defeating monster, and which one has a self-defeating plot. Other topics complained about: Teen Wolf the show, Criminal Minds Suspect Behaviour, and the film Amusement, which did not make the list of amusement park-themed movies for the show. Click here for that thing the DM mentioned.

Poll results: Sixty percent of you believe the time is right for new grindhouse, while 40% think the genre is best left in the past.

117 - Happy Birthday Ian!

2011-05-25T10:44:00.002-04:00

This week's episode was recorded on Ian's birthday. Since we don't know what movies Ian likes, we just picked three at random. Tune in to discover the mysteries of Chopping Mall, find out exactly why Gacy House sucks, and learn who loved Hobo With a Shotgun more than might be warranted. And as a special birthday treat, Count Vardulon and the Divemistress are joined once again by Brad!

Poll Results:
Werewolf vs...
Swamp Monster 80%
Robot 20%

116 - The Count Gets Got

2011-05-18T09:19:00.000-04:00

In an unprecedented move, Count Vardulon is wildly enthusiastic about all three movies this week. The Divemistress liked them, too, but is a bit more restrained. Click here for free music! How good is Thor really? Listen in to find out.

Poll Results:
Oh no! Not another freaking movie about...
...zombies besieging a farmhouse. 70%
...giant monster bullshit with a message about atomic energy or something. 30%

115 - Does Netflix Hate Me?

2011-05-11T09:44:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take in 2.5 movies. That half movie? Deadgirl, which only one person watched. Can you guess who? Can you also guess who loved Day of Wrath? And what about Blood Creek, what were their thoughts on that? Tune in to find out who was ripped off by Rue Morgue, and who went to see Fast Five, finally.

114 - Dealing with Mental Health Crises

2011-05-05T00:40:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress come close to agreeing on all three movies but it turns out the Count has no time for PG-13 thrillers. A movie just called 13, however, turns out to be amazing. Making good on their promise to watch every movie with the word "massacre" in the title, they take in Harpoon: Whale Watching Massacre. What's cool about the new season of Dr. Who? You gotta watch to find out.

Special Feature 7 - Wrath of Khan

2011-04-27T08:46:00.000-04:00

Can you beleive the Divemistress has never seen Wrath of Khan? Well, now she has!

113 - The ReScreamening

2011-04-20T08:20:00.001-04:00

It should come as no surprise that Count Vardulon and the Divemistress talk a whole lot about Scream 4. But that's not all! They take in the TV version of The Thing and enjoy the hell out of The Troll Hunter. Tune in to find out what the DM can't remember and watch as the Count proves himself incapable of signing off.

Poll Results:
Most of you can deal with a few logic problems in the movies you watch, but absolutely no one is paying to see complete nonsense.

112 - Screamorama!

2011-04-13T09:21:00.001-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress are joined by their friends Rob Rector and Don Guarisco to talk nothing but Scream for 88 minutes. How has the first movie held up over the years? Who's wrong to love Scream 2? And what's the deal with Scream 3? The answers lie within!

111 - We've Beaten Podcasting

2011-04-06T09:27:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress decide a good theme would be movies that end in "er". Was it as good an idea as they thought? Not really! Hear the Count complain about reality TV show titles, and watch as the DM plugs an anthology she hasn't read. Was Faster better or worse than expected? What is the point of Rubber? And how epically does Gamer fail? The answers lie within.

Poll results: Should network television return to miniseries and MOWs?
Yes: 35%
Oh god yes: 50%
Only if it's Stephen King: 12%
So yes, network TV should absolutely start producing miniseries and movies of the week and they should probably consider hiring Stephen King to write them.

110 - Uncontrolled Ranting (or Sean Bean's Creepy)

2011-03-30T09:39:00.000-04:00

This week's episode runs over because someone couldn't control his ranting about TV mini-series. But that doesn't happen till later. First they take a good close look at the Red Riding trilogy. Who used to emulate Flava Flave? Who can't remember what movies they've seen and not seen? Tune in and find out!

Poll results:
In answer to the question, To what lengths would go to see At the Mountains of Madness? One of you would start a letter-writing campaign. Everyone else would actually go to the Mountains of Madness.

109 - Uncle Gunnysack

2011-03-23T08:55:00.001-04:00

It's time for another call-in show with the Divemistress as the only caller! It's a hot line with talk of prison breaks and At the Mountains of Madness. Tune in to hear all about how Count Vardulon and the Divemistress both saw Summer's Moon last week without advanced planning, and stay to learn why it took so long for them to watch The Serpent and the Rainbow.

Poll results:
Film within a film...
...within a film. 14%
...within a film within a film. 28%
...wrapped in an enigma. 14%
...wrapped in a vest. 42%

108 - The Bruges Tourism Board

2011-03-16T09:41:00.000-04:00

This week's episode is brought to you by the good people of Belgium. Only they don't know it. Count Vardulon totally wins an argument, and the Divemistress rants some more about 3D. How similar are Don't Look Up and Skeleton Crew? How pretentious is The Last Horror Movie? Click play and find out!

Poll Results
Should a themed killer always use weapons related to his theme?
Yes 72%
No 28%

Update: No new Avod this week

2011-03-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

Awww, sad face.

The DM is currently fighting for survival in a horror movie scenario involving a cabin on a lake and a dog named Robert. With nothing but a huge bottle of jack, a paddle boat, and the collected knowledge of a roomful of grad students, she and four other people must face off against a couple of organists their pet dog, Robert. Can she do it? Tune in next week to find out!

Meantime, enjoy the third episode of Numberwang!

107 - Spoiled for Choice

2011-03-02T11:46:00.000-05:00

This week you friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take a look at three movies whose titles begin with the word "the": The Prowler, The Maze, and The Keep. Why these three? No one knows. Hear the Count finish talking about Spartacus, and listen to what the DM has to say about the Oscars. Can you think of a better way to spend the next 50 minutes? No, you can't.

Poll Results: What is most important in low budget horror?
0% Effects
11% Acting
33% Story
55% Fun
* We're aware this equals 99%. The remainder is you!

106 - I'm Not Comfortable Saying Hatchet II

2011-02-23T08:47:00.001-05:00

How much do I not want to say the words "big tits zombie"?

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress are joined, once again, by very special guest Brad McHargue. The trio talk all manner of things, from how to properly make a low-budget movie to how not to make a medium-budget movie. The DM announces a plan to watch every movie with the word "massacre" in the title, and the Count makes a shocking discovery about The Simpsons. Who's got a problem with Adam Green? Tune in to find out!

Poll Results
Q: Is it possible to travel through time without changing the course of history?
A: Who's to say you weren't supposed to travel through time to begin with?

105 - Tell Five People about this Episode...Or Die!

2011-02-16T09:22:00.000-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take a look at a new Superman animated feature, disagree over what constitutes a thriller, and attempt to make sense of the baffling Chain Letter. Tune in to find out about how we've come one step closer to the imminent robot uprising, and stay hear The Count make a big deal out of nothing. Guess who enjoyed Tron: Legacy!

Pool Results:
What lives in the darkness?
Winner -- more arkness
Runner up (tie) -- ghosts, monsters, the hell dimension

104 - Life is Flammable

2011-02-09T09:21:00.000-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take a look at three big and bigger-budget movies as a way of staving off trashing indie horror for one more week. Join them as they fail to uncover the mysteries of Vanishing on 7th Street and My Soul to Take, and be amazed by how restrained they are when they talk about Chris Smith's latest triumph, Black Death. Other issues addressed include Alan Wake and Piranha 3D (again).

Poll results:
Bryan Mills (Taken) beat out Ras al-Ghul (Batman Begins) for Liam Neeson's best role.

103 - Bringing Decency Back!

2011-02-02T09:14:00.000-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take a break from dire, unpleasant indie genre film and take a look at two big budget features and one amazing sci-fi TV movie. The A-Team proves to be much better than expected, The Host is a triumph of movie-monster cinema, and The Quatermass Conclusion is everything you would expect from a Nigel Kneal sci-fi epic. Tune in to hear a debate about what exactly constitutes a sword-and-sandals movie, and stay to find out why The Count has given up on American Being Human. Also, The DM would like again to offer her apologies to Tara Strong.

Poll results:
Complete this sentence: Jennifer's body is...100% stupid.

102 - BitchFest!

2011-01-26T13:42:00.000-05:00

Bitch, bitch, bitch. Seriously. This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take a close look at bitches and bitches who bitch about them. It might be their least-empowered episode yet as they tackle two movies that try and fail to be feminist or post-feminist, and a third that fails at being anything at all. Bitchin'!

Poll results: The question was, "Should Lifetime be tackling darker content?" The unanimous answer was, "Why are you watching Lifetime to being with?" As a result, the DM pledges to stop watching movies on Lifetime.

101 - The Movie Just Happened

2011-01-19T08:21:00.000-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take on three very different films. Drive-in Massacre proves to be kind of a mess, and Zatoichi proves to be kind of amazing. The Count and the DM have two very different theories as to what exactly is going on in After.Life which only goes to show how poorly written it is. Join them as they debate whether they should watch the Canadian/American Being Human, and stay to find out why the DM though it would be a good idea to watch something on the Lifetime channel.

Poll results: Last week's poll was the least popular in all of TheAvod's history; there's not much point in releasing the results.

100 - Episode 100

2011-01-12T09:45:00.000-05:00

Finally, unbelievably, it's TheAvod's 100th episode! Tune in to hear past guests laud and praise Count Vardulon and The Divemistress, and stay to listen to musings on whether or not At The Mountains of Madness will actually happen. In an effort to set the standard for the next 100 shows, the Count and the DM fulfill your requests and watch And Soon the Darkness and Platoon of the Dead.

Poll results: Just over half of you believe that psychological thrillers are horror movies. Twenty-five percent of you don't, and a handfull of you just don't care.

Special Feature 6 - Highlander

2011-01-05T01:39:00.000-05:00

There can be only one. Except there's like three sequels.

Count Vardulon's ill and the Divemistress is out of town, so TheAvod puts off the big anniversary show for yet another week, and brings you the next installment in "Movies The Count Can't Believe The DM Hasn't Seen": Highlander! Join them as they uncover the mysteries of Christopher Lambert's burning intensity, and stay to hear The DM admit something really embarrassing.

99 - 300 Million Potential Viewers

2010-12-29T16:19:00.000-05:00

This week on TheAvod, your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress run down Fearnet's terrible year-end lists, while at the same time failing to counter with any lists of their own. Join them as they rediscover lost 80s gem Neon Maniacs--truly a film far ahead of its time. Also under the microscope are Satan's Little Helper and Scarce, which disappoint to wildly varying degrees.

Poll results:
Q: How do you like your vampires?
A: Vicious irredeemable killers
A: Dead

Special Feature 5 - Drew Stepek

2010-12-22T11:47:00.000-05:00

When it rains it pours! As a special holiday treat, Count Vardulon and the Divemistress chat with hard-horror author Drew Stepek about his latest novel, Knuckle Supper. Join the fun as they discuss Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, tear-jerker animated movies, and Jeremy Renner. Oh yeah, and Knuckle Supper, too.

Click here!

Poll results:
Most of you were "meh" about The Walking Dead. 25% of you enjoyed it very much and 16% of you liked it a little bit and not at all.

Special Feature 4 - Simon Savory

2010-12-16T09:39:00.000-05:00

It's time for another Special Feature! After months of scheduling conflicts, Count Vardulon and The Divemistress finally join hands across the Atlantic with screenwriter Simon Savory. We talk gay horror and the films of Van Damme. What's David deCoteau's next big project? Are Edgar Allen Poe fans all jerks? And does Simon really own a Pikachu costume? Tune in to find out!

98 - Quick, Poke Fire at Them!

2010-12-08T08:22:00.002-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress select three titles from Netflix instant watch. Why these three in particular? One had a catchy title. Another had a stupid title. And the third one...well, it was there. The Count and the DM wrap up The Walking Dead by criticizing, of all things, the big explosion at the end of the show. Tune in to hear how the DM is the last one to The Guild party, and watch the Count take credit for changes made to both the Saw franchise and The Walking Dead.

Poll results!
Terror from beyond the moon!
1. Colourful vapour! 2. Cephalopods!

97 - Classy!

2010-12-01T16:31:00.000-05:00

This week on TheAvod, Count Vardulon and the Divemistress attempt to class up the joint by talking about two intelligent British sci-fi films penned by Nigel Kneale. It all goes pear-shaped when they get to the third movie on the list, a Japanese indie feature called RoboGeisha. Tune in to hear more bitching about The Walking Dead and stay to hear about how The DM got her wires crossed on turkey movies.

Poll results: Passover was voted as the holiday most in need of a horror movie. Ash Wednesday came in second, and Labour Day took third. Oy gavult!

96 - Their Biggest Fight Ever

2010-11-25T00:37:00.001-05:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress have their biggest fight--a real knock down drag out. Worse still, they're arguing about The Walking Dead. Since it's American Thanksgiving, the Count and The DM present two real turkeys. Seriously, you should be thankful they watched and reviewed this stuff so you don't have to.

Poll results: At the time of recording, the poll was a tie between Leprechaun and TCM. Leprechaun was leading for a short while, thanks to our friends at Movie Scum, but then someone else voted for TCM. There's now a tie for second place between Hellraiser and The Omen. Still, the Count and The DM are forced to choose between Leprechaun and TCM for their next "orama" show.

95 - Wishmasterama

2010-11-17T16:11:00.000-05:00

TheAvod grants your wishes by bringing you an all-Wishmaster episode. Your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress review the short-lived franchise's high and low points in a fun-filled hour of babbling.

Poll results:

When accused of murder, what's the best kind of insanity to plead?
Dissociative Identity Disorder: 48%
Bipolar Disorder: 4%
Psychosis: 24%
OJ-itis (blaming someone else and then ten years later writing a book in which you confess but claim to be the real victim): 24%

94 - Not a Qualified Recommendation

2010-11-09T20:09:00.000-05:00

It's Nicholas Brendon appreciation week on TheAvod. Your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress take a look at 2.5 films that feature Xander Harris, and recommend you watch only one. Tune in to hear the Count sort of admit to being wrong about something, and listen out for the DM's confession that she doesn't actually know anything about zombies.

Poll results: The question was what's your favourite thing about the Saw franchise. Half of you chose the traps, and the other, better half chose Costas Mandylor.

93 - Crazier Than a Bag of Cats

2010-11-03T09:31:00.001-04:00

This week on TheAvod, Count Vardulon manages to tie together three very different movies with the theme "what the hell was that?" Note, he chose all three movies this week, too. Japanese film, Like a Dragon, turns out to be largely unintelligible unless you've played the Yakuza video games. The long-awaited sequel to The Sword and the Sorcerer could benefited from more time spent working on the script, and Saw 3D is exactly what you would expect from a Saw movie--full of puzzling, plot inconsistencies, and the worst-acted scene in movie history. Remember Jem? Well, the DM brings her up in a conversation about Halloween. The Count talks about a creepy Alan Moore comic, and proves that he's just as much of a Star Wars geek as the Divey.

*Note, when the Count says "at the end of Empire Strikes Back," he really means "at the beginning of Return of the Jedi".

Poll results: Most of you (62%) would rather watch deplorable movie Ghost Ship than sit through either a sequel that destroys all continuity or a remake that fails to capture everything you loved about the original. Some of you (37%) would prefer to watch a prequel that creates plot holes than Ghost Ship.

92 - Lennie James Needs a Show

2010-10-27T23:05:00.000-04:00

They probably should have watched this instead.

This week on TheAvod your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress take a look at the pilot for The Walking Dead. The DM rants once more about movie theatre etiquette and the Count asks the all-important question: do babies pay full price at the movies? He then wonders why the opera trumps Paranormal Activity 2, and comes up with the lamest excuse ever for not keeping up with the Christopher Pike Book Club. The two talk RED, PA2, and Dead End--not the Wrong Turn sequel, the other one with car and the dying and the stuff what makes no sense. Tune in to hear about how the DM was knocked on her ass by Knuckle Supper.

Poll results:
Which decade produced the best horror?
1970s - 75%
1930s - 12%
1980s - 12%

91 - Not Feature-Length

2010-10-21T22:15:00.001-04:00

This week on TheAvod, your friends Count Vardulon and the Divemistress discuss two wildly divergent movies, the underwhelming Cherry Tree Lane, and the surprisingly good The Stone Tape. The DM encourages you to visit your local haunted house, even if it's kind of crappy, and the Count suggests you play the new Castlevania game. Tune in to hear all about the best worst movie, and stay for a run down of "good" PG-13 horror movies.

90 - Tentacle Make-Out Session

2010-10-13T08:59:00.000-04:00

It's TheAvod's 90th episode and to celebrate, Count Vardulon admits to being wrong about something. He also admits to being woefully under-informed about Hatchet 2. Three wildly disparate movies are under the microscope this week, the sequel to 30 Days of Night, the latest Superman/Batman pairing, and the "I-can't-believe-how-badly-marketed-this-movie-is" Monsters. Tune in to hear all about the worst show on TV!

Poll results: It's unanimous! Social commentary must not always be present in a horror movie, not even if it's zombies.

89 - And Now, A Message From Iggy Pop

2010-10-07T09:25:00.000-04:00

This week on TheAvod, your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress take a look at three wildly different films: the first is terrible, the second is slightly less terrible, and the third is hardly terrible at all. The Count talks Dead Rising 2, giving it his highest rating. The DM talks movie titles, giving one in particular her lowest rating. What's in TheAvod's mailbag? Watch and see!

Poll results: Following on the "success" of Sharktopus, we asked the question, What should be the title of Syfy's next movie? You answered 60% in favour of Countdown to Infinity. Runner-up was a tie between Babylonium and Spiderat Moneky.

88 - That's the Opposite of a Heist

2010-09-30T10:03:00.010-04:00

This week on TheAvod your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress tackle yet another Fangoria Fright Fest title: Road Kill. While they share the same opinions about the Aussie Road Kill, they differ wildly on Canadian indie End of the Line, and argue a bit about why it is or isn't any good. The DM manages to ruin the Count's day by first announcing the passing of Sally Menke, Quentin Tarantino's editor, and then by running down a list of heist movies put out by Maxim. Tune in to hear all about Sharktopus, as well as the greatest/most questionable adjective to describe a movie ever.

Poll Results: Most of you would like to see "A Descent into the Maelstrom" adapted for the screen. A few also voted for "The Balloon-Hoax" and "The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether" (tie).

87 - Couldn't help--I was busy watching snuff

2010-09-24T09:10:00.000-04:00

It's TheAvod's first call-in show, with the DM being the only caller. She and the Count talk all kinds of nonsense (read: The Event), and argue about Resident Evil. The two theme movies this week are The Horeseman and Horsemen. Can you guess the theme?

Update - Avod Delayed This Week

2010-09-20T17:56:00.000-04:00

Count Vardulon here, subbing in for theDivmistress, whose computers caught the self-awareness bug that mine were suffering from two weeks back. An axe to the power supply solved the issue, but now she's got to wait on a new power supply to be able to record. So look forward to that a little later this week - and with it, a return to updates to theAvod with well constructed grammatically correct sentences.

Until then, enjoy this video of a raccoon stealing a doormat:

86 - There is No Shortage of Things That Suck About Being a Cow

2010-09-15T15:13:00.000-04:00

Image by Kristy Puchko.

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress take a look some Poe adaptations, a gay one, a less gay one, and another one. The DM has some unkind words to say about zombie films, and The Count announces that he's really looking forward to Scream 4. Tune in to hear how The DM doesn't always know what she's talking about. Good times!

Update: No New Avod This Week

2010-09-09T08:38:00.000-04:00

The inevitable has happened: Count Vardulon's computers--all seven of them--have become sentient and turned on him. For this reason there will be no new Avod this week. The Count is working to fix the onerous computers and he and The DM will return next week with Episode 92.

In the mean time, here's a video of exploding heads:

85 - Watch Gaslight Instead

2010-09-02T08:50:00.001-04:00

This week on the TheAvod, Count Vardulon and The Divemistress take a look at three movies that all feature crazy ladies, Psychosis, Gothika, and The 4th Floor. The DM complains about the lack of movie theatre etiquette in her town, and the Count voices his opinions on Eli Roth. The DM also offers up some short comments on Piranha 3D and The Last Exorcism, and educates the Count on some Canadian history. Tune in to hear the Count tell a funny (read: sad) story about Charisma Carpenter.

Poll results: Most of you (60%) chose Basil Rathbone as the best Sherlock Holmes. Michael Caine and Matt Frewer both tied for second place (20%).

84 - Dear Jim

2010-08-25T08:50:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress gush all over Stephen Moffat's latest project, which makes the Count squeal with delight. They also review a new Kevin Costner movie, which makes the Count sigh with regret. Tune in to hear the most Canadian discussion ever--it's about beer!

Poll results: The question was, "What is least important in an action movie?" Most of you chose backstory, and there was a tie between character development and subplots.

83 - Our Most Positive Episode

2010-08-17T17:49:00.000-04:00

The unthinkable happens this week when both Count Vardulon and The Divemistress like every single movie they review. In an unprecedented display of social behaviour, the Count leaves the castle to take in two new releases and regales the DM with hilarious stories about the weirdos at his local cinema. The DM, for her part, manages surprise the Count with some movie news about one of his favourite comic books.

Poll Results: Scott Pilgrim vs The Expendables
50% Scott Pilgrim
50% The Expendables

82 - It's a Short Jump from Souls to Human Flesh

2010-08-11T09:49:00.000-04:00

This week on TheAvod Count Vardulon and The Divemistress compare Blood the Last Vampire with Blood the Last Vampire. The DM gives a rundown of the spin-off series, Blood +, and the Count promotes the hell out of Golgo 13. The two talk about a couple of upcoming movies, and the Count asks the all-important question: How shirtless is Karl Urban in Pathfinder? Tune in to find out!

Poll Results
Question: What will be the next trend in horror literature?
Answer: Cannibal Chick Lit 50%, Biblical Slasher 33%, Sci-Fi Ghost Story 16%, Werewolf Western 0%

81 - Never in Favour of Not Killing Nazis

2010-08-03T10:14:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress investigate the lucrative business of organ repossession. Since there's a new Batman animated movie, the DM insists they talk about that. Unfortunately, she's has yet to learn an important lesson about bringing up the Joker when talking to The Count, so the conversation waxes a little too much on how much of a pussy Batman is. Other things complained about: video game movies and horror literature. Fun times!

Poll Results: When asked to select the least confusing film ever, you all chose Rambo (except for that one person who voted for Jaws 2, you know who you are).

80 - Billy Zane is Awesome

2010-07-28T14:03:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress are joined by their very special guest Anonymous. DM and Anon do their best to "review" Inception without talking about it because The Count hasn't seen it yet. They run down LoveFilm's top ten list of most confusing films and launch into a lively discussion of some pretty flat movies. Except for The Orphanage. They really liked that one.

Poll Results: Most of you believed the Skunk Ape is extant. Next in line for possibly actually existing was the Jersey Devil, followed by the Yeti and the Sasquatch (tie).

79 - The Annoying Twists

2010-07-21T14:41:00.001-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress take a look at a random selection of movies, some good, some bad, and one which managed to be both. Do all the boys really love Mandy Lane? Is there an actual nightmare at the end of the hall? And what happened during the last broadcast? Tune in to find out! Also, The DM reveals a secret shame and The Count shares with you how he selects movies for the show. Be sure to click here to read that thing the DM mentioned.

Poll Results: The question was "which sea monster will likely wreak havoc on mankind?" The votes were split between mutant man-fish hybrid (60%) and megashark (40%)

78 - Address all Questions to the Complaint Department

2010-07-13T09:37:00.001-04:00

Do you know where I can find a vet, because these puppies are sick!

This week on TheAvod, Count Vardulon and The Divemistress discuss underwater horror--The DM's own ready-made niche of genre criticism. Join them as they plumb the depths of the horror genre with Below, Deep Star Six, and Leviathan. The Count fills in the The DM on all the comic book stuff she missed while she was away and the two overshare a little about bondage. Be sure to listen out for a short conversation about gender-switching monster rape.

Poll Results: The votes are in and your favourite pre-recorded holiday show was Episode 77 - Recording Fatigue.

Update: No New Avod This Week

2010-07-06T14:54:00.000-04:00

Dear Avod Fan,

Due to the fact that The Divemistress is still recovering from her traveling ordeal, and since Count Vardulon is not permitted to do a solo show, there will be no new Avod this week. Rest assured, your friends are still working hard to bring you all the inconsequential horror musings and reviews you crave and will return next week with a brand new show.

Cheers!

77 - Recording Fatigue

2010-06-29T11:35:00.000-04:00

This week, your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress are joined once again by Brad McHargue of I Love Horror. They talk about at-the-time-of-recording current films Prince of Persia and Splinter. The other films they discuss are no longer in theatres, or never were in theatres. Tune in to find out exactly how over-written Rising Dead is. Keep an ear out for Law Abiding Citizen spoilers. And be sure to listen for The Count and The DM's first-ever foray into gay horror cinema with their review of David DeCoteau's House of Usher.

Special Feature 3 - Fistfull of Brains

2010-06-22T12:13:00.002-04:00

Count Vardulon and The Divemistress sit down to "enjoy" an old-timey zombie romp by Christine Parker. Bear in mind that neither one has seen it and the disc has no subtitles, so they actually have no idea what's going on.

76 - Fangtastic!

2010-06-15T11:57:00.001-04:00

This week on TheAvod, your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress discuss some modern takes on good old-fashioned vampires. How did Ann Rice revolutionize vampire fiction? What did Stephanie Meyer do or didn't do for vampire folklore? And how does True Blood manage to be both amazing and terrible? We have the answers!

Special Feature 2 - The Road Warrior

2010-06-08T16:05:00.004-04:00

It's TheAvod's second special feature! Kicking off a new series "Movies The Count can't believe The DM hasn't seen," Count Vardulon and The Divemistress sit down to watch The Road Warrior. Join them on this journey of discovery by queuing up your own copy of Mel Gibson's breakout film.

Poll results: In the poll "Prequel, Sequel, or Remake?" most of you chose Sequel. No one chose Remake.

(Update for June 9! - It turns out there was an editing problem with the commentary! Luckily it's been repaired, so the episode now syncs up perfectly with the movie. But if you downloaded it on Tuesday the 8th of June, 2010, you might want to download it again, because there's a two minute drift in the last twenty minutes.)

75 - Have You Seen Tourist Trap?

2010-06-02T22:57:00.002-04:00

This week Count Vardulon and The Divemistress are joined by Don Guarisco of Schlockmania! to talk terrible remakes. Under the microscope are three of Don's (least) favourites, The Amityville Horror, House of Wax, and Zombieween. Note, during the discussion about boobs The DM makes reference to Jessica Alba's rack, but this was a mistake. She meant Jessica Biel.

Poll results: You all agreed that demon possession is way worse than a haunted house.

74 - The Divemistres Apologizes for Neowolf

2010-05-26T14:58:00.000-04:00

This week's episode was recorded quite some time ago and was intended to be episode 73, but then that didn't happen. The Divemistress begins by offering an apology for the movie Neowolf. Not that she had anything to do with the film, but still she's sorry. If things weren't bad enough, The DM gives The Human Centipede a positive review. The Count is given two minutes to complain about V, but The DM can't resist talking alien religion so they carry on a bit. It's a spoiler-tastic episode, so if you were planning on watching Neowolf, Broken, or Paranormal Entity, save yourself the time and listen on TheAvod instead. Tune in to hear the lamest shout-out ever!

In the poll "Shark vs Lion vs Crocodile", most of you chose shark. Crocodile came in second, and lion, sadly, took third place. These results indicate a clear bias for aquatic and semi-aquatic animals.

73 - MisogynyWatch!

2010-05-19T11:51:00.001-04:00

This week's Avod was recorded nearly a month ago, thus the timeliness of the issues discussed is, well, no longer so timely. Still The DM provides what turns out to be an auspicious review of the Happy Town pilot, given the show was recently canceled. Because Count Vardulon picked the movies, they turn out to be either about hating women (which is bad) or giant crocodiles (which are good), but he sort of makes up for the whole misogyny thing by telling a story about how much cooler he is than most other gamers.

Poll results: Would you eat your own flesh as a matter of survival?
Yes: 11%
No: 11%
Christ, no: 77%

72 - Pretentious Quotes...With a Twist!

2010-05-12T10:14:00.001-04:00

This week on TheAvod Count Vardulon and The Divemistress discuss some critical reaction to PD's NOES. After that, they taste test two-and-a-half movies about cannibalism, the excellent Ravenous, the middling Van Diemen's Land, and the regrettable Necrosis. Are The Count and the DM for or against the consumption of long pig? Tune in to find out!

Poll Results: Most of you thought the new NOES was "unimaginative" while opinions were split on whether it was "boring" or "fucking awful".

71 - Turns Out Freddy Actually Is Dead

2010-05-05T11:35:00.001-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress devote the hour to PD's remake of beloved 80s classic, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Unsurprisingly, the remake turns out to be not-beloved.

Poll results: The original NOES, by a wide margin, was the favourite movie in the franchise. Second-favourite was NOES 3, and rounding-out the top three (the only three that got any votes, as a matter of fact) was New Nightmare.

70 - Kruegerama!

2010-04-28T07:40:00.001-04:00

Just in time for the much-anticipated Platinum Dunes remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Count Vardulon and The Divemistress take an in-depth look at the NOES franchise. They're very happy to be joined by B-Sol of The Vault of Horror, the Internet's foremost expert on Nightmare.

Part 1 of 3

Part 2 of 3

Part 3 of 3

69 - The Least Kick Ass Show

2010-04-21T21:34:00.000-04:00

*Due to some technical difficulties, the sound quality is a bit off. We apologize and are working to fix the problem for future episodes.

Pictured: badass.

This week on TheAvod, Count Vardulon and The Divemistress forgo the random crap and get right to the good stuff, complaining some more about V. Having finally finished watching Death Comes to Town, the two review the Kids In The Hall mini-series Death Comes to Town. Because The DM did such a good job running down short films last week, she and The Count watch review another short the Call of Cthulhu. The feature-length films on the docket run the gamut from Canadian indie to Japanese western, to American derivative crap. Good times!

Results from last weeks poll (because The Count and The DM totally forgot to announce them): You all agreed the new Freddy make-up is not good. Isn't it great when we all get along?

68 - I Found The Echo Function

2010-04-14T07:57:00.003-04:00

Click the image to learn more about Radio Pictures.

This week's Avod opens with a very happy birthday to Ron Perlman! Your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress then move on to talk about blogging etiquette, and take a moment to yet again plug amazing film Lake Mungo. The DM closes the debate on whether CSI: Miami is actually filmed in Miami, which leads to a short review of some short films she saw at a local film festival. Taking a look at babysitters in peril, The Count and The DM review When a Stranger Calls, Babysitter Wanted, and House of the Devil. You may be surprised to found out which one was best.

Addendum: At the time of recording, Wishmaster won last week's poll. At the time of posting, there was a three-way tie between Wishmaster, Phantasm, and Leprechaun. Still, Count Vardulon and The Divemistress will be watching all of Wishmaster for an upcoming show.

67 - It's All Street Hawk's Fault

2010-04-07T07:43:00.001-04:00

Having shamefully admitted to not watching David Cronenberg movies, The Divemistress tries to salvage some dignity by watching and talking about Scanners. Count Vardulon, for some reason thinks it's a good idea to tell everyone he saw Cool as Ice. He also resumes complaining about V. The DM shares a story about a failed attempt to watch Dare Devil, and the two take a moment to bitch about the Star Wars prequels. On the topic of stuff they didn't totally hate, The DM talks about a book she just finished reading and the two review Blood and Bone. Tune in to hear about a movie that would have been a rip off of Paranormal Activity if it hadn't been made eleven years ago. Click here for other stuff.

66 - Count Vardulon Screams Like a Little Girl

2010-03-30T10:20:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress run down a few movies about psychology and serial killers. But before they get to the good stuff, the Count talks about how disgusted he is with Dread Central, and The DM suggests you watch This Film is Not Yet Rated. Also, Burger King is coming out with a new series of print ads that feature beloved villains Freddy, Jason, Chucky, and Ghostface, so keep an eye out for that. The Experiment proves to be an excellent journey into human psychology, and The Poughkeepsie Tapes less so. A mocumentary about a serial killer, The Poughkeepsie Tapes fails to effectively reproduce the look, feel, and closure you get when watching A&E's American Justice. And since they're talking about lame serial killer movies, and because it's almost Easter, the Count and The DM offer their opinions on Christopher Lambert vehicle, Resurrection. Oh yeah, and that weird girly scream you hear, that's totally Count Vardulon.

65 - The Sound You Hear is Breaking Glass

2010-03-25T00:02:00.001-04:00

The week on TheAvod, The Divemistress is pretty unhappy so Count Vardulon kindly takes a break from his rantings to cheer her up by doing his very best Sanchez impression. In between bouts of dour pessimism and uproarious laughter, the two manage to cover a handful of topics. Listen to the Count complain about FlashForward's terrible writing, and hear The DM get him excited about upcoming TV show Happy Town. Somewhat unbelievably, both your hosts really enjoyed Ninja Assassin despite its terribleness. They didn't much like The Final, however, which was equally terrible.

64 - The Only Batman Movie You'll Ever Need

2010-03-18T19:41:00.000-04:00

This week your friends Count Vardulon and The Divemistress manage to cover video games, books, TV, and movies! The Count recommends you play terribly titled game Deadly Premonition, and The DM talks a bit about this huge book she's reading right now. The duo put aside their distaste for CSI: Miami to watch and review the much-anticipated Rob Zombie episode of CSI: Miami. The DM tries very hard to segue out of TV and into the film portion of the show, but she gets very confused about what movies Ron Jeremy has and has not been in. Tune in to hear about how awesome Batman is, especially when animated!